*so far, this might be the worst...
out of the ordinary, i commonly see this on programs.
now i'm one of the victim.
victim of shameless behavior and mischiefs.
i thought that i'm strong enough on my own...
but i was wrong.. .
.
.
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my roommate, for the first time in my life, because of her i experience
shit
disgrace
worriness
trembles
and
nothingness
i'm not that dumb! but i never thought that i will come to that point. that was the first time that i'm calling my mother for help in the middle of the night. the first time that i cant move my body. the first time that i can't think on what to do. the first time i feel awkward to something i know i have the edge. the first time that i knew sombodies were doing mischief in the same room where i am, under my bed! yes! she brought a guy and have sEx! if it's that what you want to get out of my mouth. i woke up in the middle of the night by my bed shaking, then a thought struck me! i heard her before that her boyfriend has nowhere to sleep, so think she brought her home. silently, i observed, making sure nobody will see me, then i'm sure that under me, there was not only one person but two! hello!!!! if you are smart enough or decent enough you will not do that in a place that you are not private. i want to cry out loud but no sound came out of my mouth. nor i can't even move. next day, everyone except me, where suprised about the guy in our room, and ate maan act like there was nothing strange happen, nothing strange about a guy sleeping in all girl's room! the worst was, it was not just the only time, it was the fisrt time. because there is second, third, and now a whole week with new bf. they are so stupid enough to not realising that they are pestering the others! they are noisy, they crowd the room, they make the us awkward... ok.. they are 2o plus, 3 of us 6 were 20 plus and matured or "liberated enough to think it that way." but the other 3 including me, were only 17 to 18 and 19! we were not opened to that thinking. the three of us were comforted in our own home. cared and respected by our families. school have a subject about sex and also morality! MORALITY! one of the things that my 2 foundation schools hammered in my mind! we are innocent but smart! we know what to think! it was hard on me! i depressed! beside aura, i only have kevin in a new place. eventhough it's not right, but i have to burst it out, i told him everything, i message my friends eventhough i know they can do nothing in my situation, i informed my mom eventhough i know this time nobody can comfort me. this is just the most extravagant rant i experienced!others were nothing compared to this.
.
uniform delayed by a month,
i can't catch up with my lessons,
alienation in some of my class,
stupid security officers,
my depression is creeping out,
my syndrome being prominent again
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how am i supposed to have a good social relationship when my syndrome is overwhelming me because of some stupid environmental stimuli???
