transparent

i smile because i can't cry,
in my world it is forbidden.
the heaven of my pain,
are the rain of my happiness.
my image is nothing but shattered glass
an existence,
a nuisance to all.
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no matter how loud i scream
no body would dare to listen.

tropical storm ondoy

it's been five days after the tropical storm ondoy hit central luzon and some part of southern luzon, and the aftermath is still visible.

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batangas was not really affected, it only received rainfalls all day, no blackouts, no flood. thank God!

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but, my school in laguna, was heavyly affected. laguna was one of the mostly affected of ondoy. the perpetual binan received a heavy blow. my classmates said that the gym submerged in the flood, our deans office was flood till waist line.

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my dorm, thank goodness, the water didn't reach our rooms.

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classes cancelled till saturday.

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there were a lot of people lost their homes, belongings and even love ones.

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until now, donations are badly needed.

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bayanihan is alive.

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but there is new depression, classified as of now as "super typhoon pepeng".

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the worst part,

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it hasnt yet reached it's landfall, in luzon again...

facebook quizzes

here are some of my facebook quizzes results...
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i found them really funny, cute and quite interesting...ÜÜÜ
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what my birthmonth means:

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April

Active and dynamic. Decisive and haste but tends to regret.Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly an...d solves people's problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Emotional. Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory. Moving Motivates oneself and others. Sickness usually of the head and chest. Sexy in a way that only their lover can see.

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what flower represents me:

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Hydrangea

You are your happiest when amongst a lot of people. You don't stand out in the crowd, your whole group of friends do. Your mood changes easily depending on your environment.... If you are at work/school you are very studious, however if you are at a club, you know how to get your groove on!

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what is my element?:

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Fire

Nature had given you a passion which is difficult to master. Not everyone reaches this mastery early on in life. In fact, chances are you are still trying t...o figure out how to control it. At times you feel as if your desires are consuming you, while other times you feel that your passion is so lacking it is bordering on apathy. These extremes are not healthy, and you must learn to live in a world in which both of these can coexist in a single moment. Life teaches us that we are to hone our talents into one outlet and command that aspect of our life fully. The trouble with you is that you have so many passions in so many areas that it becomes difficult to chose the one that suits you best. I challenge you to become a jack of all trades, and a master of none - for only then will your passions be satiated.

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what is the perfect job for me?:

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Doctor

You love to help people and wish to make sure no one is in any pain. You really like science and you are an academic. You are fun but are also very straight to the point...which isnt a bad thing!

learn to fly

Learn to fly by Foo Fighters:

my new theme song -_-

Run and tell all of the angels

This could take all night

Think I need a devil to help me get things right

Hook me up a new revolution

Cause this one is a lie
We sat around laughing and watched the last one die

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I'm looking to the sky to save me

Looking for a sign of life

Looking for something to help me burn out bright

I'm looking for a complication

Looking cause I'm tired of lying

Make my way back home when I learn to fly

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I think I'm done nursing the patience

I can wait one night

I'd give it all away if you give me one last try

We'll live happily ever trapped if you just save my life

Run and tell the angels that everything is alright

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I'm looking to the sky to save me

Looking for a sign of life

Looking for something to help me burn out bright

I'm looking for a complication

Looking cause I'm tired of trying

Make my way back home when I learn to fly

Make my way back home when I learn to

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Fly along with me,

I can't quite make it alone

Try and make this life my own

Fly along with me,

I can't quite make it alone
Try and make this life my own

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I'm looking to the sky to save me

Looking for a sign of life

Looking for something to help me burn out bright

I'm looking for a complication

Looking cause I'm tired of trying

Make my way back home when I learn to

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I'm looking to the sky to save me

Looking for a sign of life

Looking for something to help me burn out bright

I'm looking for a complication

Looking cause I'm tired of trying

Make my way back home when I learn to fly

Make my way back home when I learn to fly

Make my way back home when I learn to, learn to,

learn to...

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pharma mayhem; pisiform(ity??)

yesterday, we had symposium for our FCL 5 subject. due to that, our regular classes were cancelled. one of it was pharmacology class with dr. lopez. the morning session of the symposium were cancelled. all of us decided to ditch the pharmacology for our remaining time since most of us still had a lot to do for spare time.

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dr. lopez learned that we ditched him by the mistake of someone from our own class. so basically, he got mad. he went lecturing us about how we were wasting our time. only 12 students including were able to attend since we were just in a floor lower to thera lab.

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symposium for afternoon session came on.

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went home, sleep, eat a thousand times.

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next day, Tee - jay, allowed us to read the letter sent to her by dr. lopez concerning the whole class. in the letter, he stated he's not mad about our actions, how disgusting our curriculum is, who's at fault and who's not, special mentions of special classmates, those who attended his lecture yesterday earns additional five big points in quizzes and automatic 5 pt. deduction to those who weren't able to attend.

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basically, the letter were the topic during our free time. and classmates instead of feeling worried about it started making jokes out of it.

kuya irish. kuya gab. us

eto ang quiz natin

fill in the blanks

i am not mad blank?

why should i?

*laughs*

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jed. jans (these two were the special mentions)

give me blank and blank

huh?

very good and believable reason!

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during our gross ana., a former student came to visit us, he was now a successful p.t in the u.s, and he gave us uhmm, motivation or inspiration??? about study hard and pursue p.t coz it's worth it.

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mark notices my hand, it has a dark spot on side of wrist. he was shocked when he saw it, coz he knows that i'm not addicted in online games yet i have darker spots than them who uses a lot of p.c. he said it was due to pressure inserted on the pisiform, one of the wrist bones, while we are using mouse or keyboard alone. it was also just last week when my mom noticed it, and since i don't know the reason i just said it was nothing. now, in my realization, my right hand has now darker spot and bigger pisiform compared to my left hand which is at this state very normal.

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during vacation and free times i am in front of computer for longer hours. maybe not playing, but reading mangas and do a lot of stuff.

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so there i got it.

and by the way,

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I

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have

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to

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learn

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this

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sooner

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the

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better

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wheelchair balance

brachial plexus and yougart sticks

presenting, sir john's brachial plexus:



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totallly different from the brachial plexus i first learned from maám shean

different in a way that it is in more or less 3d style.

the first one is "sticks"

and sir john would not want sticks from us.

it have to be like his...

and i haven't started practicing this one out...

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this weekend, i found new treat, so addicting!

these are yougart candy sticks!

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while i was watching t.v, my sister gave me one of these,
she said it is called yougart sticks
and i like it
to the piont that i told her to buy me my own!
it is also very cheap, 2 pcs. for 1 peso -.-

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i also learned that nobuta wo produce

is being shown in QTV,

that there is no way in hell

that i will be able to watch it!

it is my most fav jdrama T.T

socially challenge

i'm so scared to be left out

but i'm also scared blending in

today is my cousin Rachel's birthday, and right now, at this very moment, they are having a party. and here i am alone and blogging proudly about it. dimwit! i'm not a party pooper. i'm really am socially challenged.

so many times that i ditched someones party not because i hate it nor i am busy with another thing or two but i just don't really like it. like if there's gathering, im hiding in my shell. i just don't feel it. my mind says go but my heart says no!

it's like seeing a lot of people makes my feet rooted in the grounds. but i can make it if it is for academic purposes. but parties? i don't think so. i always feels like crying if I'm about or have to go to. i hate it, i really hate it.

even in my own party, i like it simple. yes, it has been simple enough. there was not so many people, and only closest family were present. yet, on its very time, i was hiding in the bathroom. i didn't came out until i was so sure there's no more visitors left. i didn't even get out of the house nor entertain most of them nor thanked them for coming.

i think i started isolating my self from them is when:

• relatives started think low of me, teasing me when its like they don't have dirt on their ugly faces
• ate rhea spoke highly of herself and degrades me face to face, she might not intended it, nor she remembered it, but i never forget a single scene of it. im in high school and she was a lot older and smarter than me. note: smart people don't do that.
• stupid dimwitted sister takes the scene

it is not just low self-esteem of mine. because at school, i do best. have enough confidence in me to face the class and my professors and to stand grounded on my points.

revelations: i have asperger's syndrome, not all of my relatives have a knowledge about it. it was just a months ago when i learned about it, and hell only knows since when i'm being like this.

• i don't hate the syndrome itself, i understand it
• i don't hate my relatives not knowing about this, but i hate them for badmouthing me (think i don't know eh?? i heard you all) (if you smart enough you will not do it, dimwits)
• im happy staying like this but im not emo

series of unfortunate events

this week is a one hell of a ride!

hell, because it really is.

it's not because it was a busy week

but because it was very, very, very unlucky week!

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• computer never come to life
• been crazy over pathology
• colds hurting me a little
• two steps behind in my neuro ana class
• lunatic quizzes everywhere
• loads of unnecessary homework
• bills continously coming in
• money coming out
• run out of tea
• i lost 500 pesos!
• colds become flu
• absent 3 days in a row
• in the pit of dying right now

couldn't get any better?

everydays the same,

every history make,

will be the future of the next

broken and defeated

innocent eyes of mine

cried a thousand tears

in the midst of dawn

life's feel so unfair

for a girl who never crosses boundries

her never settled platform

has been again

shaken out of nowhere

my strongholds,

my path,

and my future

ruptured in a blizz of events

lost.

once again,

unprotected.

blamed,

for the things she never done.

how could you ecpect me to be strong?

going back home

the life we are,

are just borrowed.

moreover a gift

much priceless from other gems.

everyone of us should cater it to the fullest.

once He decided to get it back,

we can just oblige,

regardless of our errands

we cannot hold back.

it is not a farewell,

but a welcoming home.

our existence are a mere reflection of His love

we never own ourselves,

borrowed but a gift,

none of us should object

He never wanted us wronged

but He wants us to feel the pain to grow out of love

so that when it's our time to go

we can always be at home

home in His place,

in His love