sem break!: a flash back...

finally a semester's break so happy hardships 4 dis sem are ol my done!!!!!

the newly ended sem was so haggard and hectic.

i had new faculty, 1st in my life to have a very strict proffesors.

the simple anatomy at glance became the worst experience of my life, i mean, we disected a cadaver (human corpse), that caused me of sleepless night! almost all of the pillows in our house were in my bed to occupied the free space (so scared to think that i'm with someone creeepy!). the cadaver came in at the end of the 1st term, were the lessons are about head and neck. good thing of its being late is that we didn't disect the head part which scared us most. we started from skinning the body up to seperating the muscles. there were rumors that the cadaver's soul was roaming the campus it was witnessed by those self-proclaimed "third-eyes" of freaky students.

the most simple course subject and the only minor in this sem was the human growth and development. it was almost the same as those psychology, sociology and anthropolopy, society with family planning course subjects before. it just that it was more focus in every stage of life span from prenatal to old age. the teacher here is fine.

physiology. it is said to be the hardest but it came in second to me. there was nothing much happened, it was a normal class. the time was great so sa the teacher. its just that we focus on how the muscles contract. it also took me a midterm exam to realize what subject are for.

the most freaking subject! the pt1 and Pt 2 with its professor! other professor said that it is easy and fun but for us it is the most difficult and sufferings. Know why? it was because of the feeling-know-it-all-boastful-"kitid-utak" professor of ours. he surely knows how to terrorized students for nothing. well, the only fun part was the pool therapy lessons. i did enjoy the pool! i also hate the straight 6 hour class when he tried for the make up of lost lessons.

the fun class was psychiatry! we enjoy learning the different psychotic disorders and how to handle them. all we did was reporting and acting out the scenes of curing it. the professor was great. too bad that the school administration didn’t handled her properly.

the school foundation day was held

i became a member of the school journal

the college of physical therapy also had its first dinner meeting








well, this sem was a really tough one and there will be more hardships on the upcoming other sem.

chillos got to go!

another ouch! a cold war, a competition you didn't know

It is so hard being the inferior of your class, specially when you are only two.

This issue has been bugging me since last week or might be ever since the school year open. I know that I'm not that smart compared to the scholar of the school,I can also be one of the top students if the number increase. This time I'm the biggest dumb-dumb of the class for two. My only classmate is only my friend and we know each other very well (that's what i think). She is a straight Dean's Lister, and a scholar of almost four institution in the country. I'm not competing with her in terms of grades 'coz i know my limit, but teacher's wanted a competition between us. in which i obviously already lost to.

I don't understand my professor very well (not in academics), when I'm able to get a higher score than my classmate, the way he always reacts is that i won a presidency election against to the best in the country by cheating! i always feel that i don't deserve what I've worked so hard for. Then I gave him the lowest score of my entire career as a student, 15/100, then the way he criticized me was the way how a bratty girl looked to a pauper. I won it 'coz i wasn't able to study 'coz my stupid-freaking classmate told me that there would no exam, that i don't have to review because she also didn't. then i trusted her to my ticket of doom... what's that for? i could just ask my self... i thought she didn't want to compete and i remembered very clear that she said she don't want to compete with anybody for many reasons like she would have pressure to bear. Does anybody includes me or not? I think i have the pressure to in the same class with her.

So far, my feelings enlightened, i have my friends who sympathises with me.

but,I swear, this would be the start of the competition she said she didn't wanted. I'm giving her and my professor my all for my best and not theirs! I might won't able to win in terms of grades, i'll show them what a good student to what a normal teenager does!

say no to dr. ______!!!

last Saturday, my schedule was 8-12 for anatomy lecture and 1-7 pm for anatomy laboratory with two different professors. our class started on time with our anatomy lec. professor. while in the middle of our class, our anatomy lab. professor barged in, stopping our lesson. telling to our professor that they're on boycott and that to announce to our other subject teachers. wondering why, we asked what was going on... he answered that the newly arrived president-owner of the school and the hospital where they really work as a physical therapy questioned their credibility to teach in our school. hurt, our laboratory teacher decided on that very same day to resign as our teacher! then we lost another meeting for that day... then monday came, today at school rumors became so alarmingly, that the president-owner of the school and hospital will going to handle our anatomy class!!!!! as in what??! that very strict and arrogant doctor will hold our both anatomy class? oh my! our laboratory is going to be dealing with a cadaver! i told to my classmates that if that stupid rumor is true, then i'm going to be afraid of the doctor that the cadaver!!! then my another classmate said that he will going to stop or transfer to another school or to shift course immediately if that doctor will replace one of our favorite teacher!

Emo Means Gay?!

I know it's kinda late talking about "EMO" because many tv shows have discussed it already and also in many forums I've visited, but let me tell a story why this came up to my mind.

• my classmate styles like an emo
• one of my favorite bands are said to be emo
• my handsome, very smart, and very talented classmate's style is emo (even on his t-shirt have a shout out that he is emo) and is confirmed emo! (heartbroken T.T)
  

The third on the list is the thing I still don't want to believe. Why? because in one friendster forum, the question is "what is the meaning of emo for you?". The most answer is simply "Emo is Gay!". I didn't believe in those opinions but I also did'nt try to contradict on it, because for me Emo is just a mere fashion statement. A statement that blooms today and die tomorrow. Although its been a long time since it bloomed, it is still on the "in".

Let me share this, a story of my friends biggest frustration about emo.

The 3rd on the list was the reason. The day before yesterday, my friend "April" and I had a conversation about him, "Jay Vic", here's the conversation:

• april: is he a gay?
  
• me: hell no! he is not gay, look at him, the way he dress seemed not and also the way he speaks, he is so manly.


• april: is it?


• me: why?


• april: i saw him kissing with other guy in his friendster pictures!


• me: ne? really? where
  
• april: lips!


• me: as in lips to lips with other guy?! ows?


• april: check it on your on! he's my friend on my friendster
  
• me: ok, i'll check it when i get home, but his not my friend on friendster, his profile's might be locked. I'll borrow yours.
  

Then I went home immediately because something inside me made me excited. I opened the friendster then his profile with a different name. There it was! The evidence! He is a true emo and a true gay! A big Ouch! He is one of my most respected senpai. I look after him because he is a good model for a student coming from a private-catholic school. Right now, I'm still shocked and I don't know what to do. I have to release it from me. So, I told it to my cousin and asked to kept it as a secret. Now, I've post it here. I really don't know what to do. I'm sure J.V is keeping this matter a secret to the whole school.

But I don't know what to do when we see each other and talk to each other, and he's acting like a straight guy in front of everyone when I know his true blood. T.T .... but I still feel a respect towards him. Just what like I said before it is just a mere fashion statement somehow... I'm still proud of him, he is a good person and he is proud enough to post it on his friendster account (although it is only a few number of schoolmate on his friend's list)...

Be proud of who you are, it is the least you can do for your self....

we need time out

here's the thing...

my classmate-friend and i are the only students in our major class. actually, we are different to one another. she is so dedicated in her studies while i only study when i have to. her type is the one you cannot always have a joke on. i think she is more a loner type of a person or "the nerd".
in our first day in class in our major, the professor explained to us what is the relevance of our subject in our chosen course, and its relevance in real life and also the history of our future career. surely, i learned a lot, i even ask some things that were not really cleared but my classmate asked the Prof a question that didn't even needed to ask because in the prof's explanation even a kindergarten can easily understand! then the Prof gave us a break. i told her that I'm going to eat, she accompanied me, she was also going to have recess. normally, classmates going out to canteen will talk about their crushes or what happened to them the previous night but we were talking about the lesson and explanation of the professor. she was talking like she was so excited, or what we called a child coming home telling her mama that the teacher gave her golden star! "PLEASE! i heard enough from the Prof you don't have to repeat it to me!" i've wanted to answer back but i held my temper. good thing the break was over. i felt like i was a wrong company for her or she as wrong company for me.
it is not wrong to be serious but please have a break. i'm having a wrong impression of my self that when i'm with her i didn't do my best in studying... i'm so stupid.

life is short, have fun while you can! it is not wrong not to be serious sometimes...

living like. . .

Have you ever wonder why you always ask ''why...?''? Then it will be followed by ''how come...?'' , but have you tried to answer it on your own?

If your answer is yes... then we're on the same boat.

The truth is that those people who often ask why and how come are the people who have low self -esteem, for those people don't know how to trust themselves . A certain event will happen first before the person can ask why. In this event, they were already failures, because they don't have confidence from the beginning. Then they will start to ask questions to others, then to themselves. The worst is there would be no answer that can satisfy them, to the extent blame someone and not themselves.

This character of low self-esteem could make you feel living in vain, insanity, lunatic, crazy and all its synonyms. And it is so hard to defeat it. It took me years before I won over it. It affects school and job and even personal life. I say, when the moment you realise you have low self-esteem, you should immediately find ways to overcome it. For it becomes worst and worst every time you tolerate it.

I'm going to share a chant, it is not really a chant it is just a phrase you need to shout out loud or just in your mind. it boost up my confidence and i hope it will also be useful to you all.

your name P O W E R!!! E N T E R!!!

ex. YAMAKI POWER! ENTER!

Nope! it's not my own. I learned it in a japanese drama series "Nobuta Wo Produce" in english is "producing nobuta". One of many values in this show is looking for confidence and trust for your self.

It is also true that to have strong or i say too much confidence can also be meant being boastful, or be in the dangerous position. So, it is just to have a right mix of confidence.

"trust yourself. think for yourself. act for yourself. speak for your self. be yourself"